It doesn’t matter what type of job or industry you’re in there’s always a few certain personalities types in every workplace. From the prankster to the suckup -whether you work at Mcdonalds or Louis Vuitton, there’s one in every environment.
As we spend most of our time in slavery, I mean the workplace, our colleagues play a pretty big role in our lives. These are the most common workplace characters you’re likely to come across.
1 The ‘how do you still have a job here’ person?
There’s one in every workplace. The most work you’ve seen them do is like the company page on Facebook and that was only because they were mid-stalk of their ex at the time. They are the last one in and the first to leave and they seem to think that whole “hour” lunch thing is a guideline instead of a rule. #Thuglife.
You’re not sure whether you low-key admire or high-key hate them but two years later, they are still around online shopping or looking for another role on a job site whilst you got fired for starting a mutiny over the lack of decent coffee in the staff room.
2 The prankster.
You know the one. The person who that it was hilarious when they plastered their boss’s office with hundreds of posters of Nicholas Cage. They think it’s funny to eat someone’s lunch every day and can’t work out why the hell Robert is being a salty bitch because of it. When they were put in charge of Deborah’s farewell they got “We hate you and hope you fail” even though she was actually off on maternity leave.
Hey, as long as the pranks are happening to other people, then you probably ship this person hard because you need something to break up the monotony of contemplating if whether you even need this job and if you could actually survive without eating or shelter.
3 The ‘how are you so happy all the time’ person?
This person is the absolute worst. They come in at 9am and have the hide to be as perky as a high school cheerleader, sans coffee. It’s like for Goodness Sake Susan, “I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of, since 2009. Or however long you’ve worked here. “
I’m 92% percent sure you are going to see this person one day inappropriately wandering along in their underwear or doing something really weird because it’ just ain’t normal to be so hype all the time.
4 The ‘let’s go out for drinks’ person
This person (probably me) is constantly like “Hey, you won an award. Let’s go out for drinks!” “Hey, we beat a deadline! Let’s go out for drinks.” “Hey, its Monday morning….. let’s go out for drinks (Definitely me.)” The best thing that happens to this booze loving worker is the yearly Christmas party, or what they refer to is as- An all day drinking contest complete with free booze. They show up to work the next day fresh as a daisy, like they didn’t spend the night drunkenly serenading the CEO with Christina’s Aguilera’s “Dirty”, complete with slut dropping and all. They normally work hard and play hard, and are admired for their enthusiasm, for well, drinking. Your liver probably wouldn’t be too upset if they decided to transfer or get a new job.
5 The ‘no task is too difficult’ person
The workplace suckup, or who I like to refer to as Satan Reincarnated, is the absolute worst of the lot. They start work at 6:30 am (is that a real-time?) and leave at like midnight. No task is too big or difficult and they put their hand up for anything from cleaning the staff room to putting together the biggest proposal of the company.
Although in theory, there’s supposedly nothing wrong with a person who consistently gives a hundo-p they actually totally suck because the more they work it draws attention to the lack of stuff the rest of the employees are doing. Damn Gina, calm yourself.