10 Housemates You’re Guaranteed To Have In Your 20s

A (sometimes extremely ugly) passageway into adulthood, living in a confined space with other human beings who are inevitably not at all on your wavelength creates a very unique type of bond. A great opportunity for character building and an extremely efficient way to develop unwavering patience, here are the ten housemates you’re guaranteed to have at least once in your 20s.


The Mutterer


Whether they’re editing an essay at three in the morning or working out algebra aloud, sometimes you just need to walk over, grab their annoying face and tape their mouth shut.

Work in your room if you must pretend to talk to someone, you psychopath.


The Cook


Your personal at-home Masterchef contestant, the cook roommate leaves chai pudding in the fridge for breakfast, makes slow-roasted lamb on weekends and leaves little chocolate cookies for you in the afternoon.

If only they didn’t leave a trail of not-so-tasty grocery bills in their wake.


 The Obsessive Cleaner


It doesn’t matter whether you cleaned yesterday or last month, nothing is ever clean enough for them.

You’ve tried adopting their (slightly OCD) cleaning schedule with an open mind, but enough is enough when you’re dusting three times a week.


The Slob


The roommate that seems to function on a different time and space continuum as the rest of the world, they manage to trash your spotless bathroom in under 24 hours.

You’ve tried being passive aggressive but the only person getting annoyed is probably yourself.


The Party Person


Monday, Wednesday, Friday – everyday is a party night on this person’s calendar. It wouldn’t be so much of a problem if they didn’t come stumbling home at two in the morning loudly moaning about how drunk they are.

You thought perhaps hosting your own house party might help. It did not.

PARTYYYYY!


 The Food Thief


At first you thought (being the foodie fatty you are) that perhaps you’d just been consuming your cereal and snacks at a higher-than-average rate. But once the jar of Nutella disappeared overnight, you knew something suspicious was up.


 The Ghost


You know, logically, someone must be paying half the bills and rent, but you can count the number of times you’ve seen your roommate this month on one hand.

Maybe you work night shifts and they’re early birds. It still just isn’t natural.


The Hermione Granger


You respect their academic ethics and small, close-knit group of friends.

You wouldn’t mind skipping the weekly lecture on how lazy you’re being with university attendance, but in the roommate scheme of things, they’re not too shabby.


The Sex Machine


Um, you’ll know this one when you hear it.


The Clueless One


They’re fresh out of home and have no effing idea how to iron a shirt or cook meals that don’t come out of a package.

Their room perpetually smells of deodorant because they don’t know how to work the washing machine.