5 Reasons Why Working at the Beach is Really Stupid

There are many reasons that people choose to work away from the office; escaping the depressing glow of fluorescent lights, taking in some fresh air or just to get away from the weird, awkward social comedy that is the modern workplace.

If you have a job that allows it, working outside is great way to spark your creativity, providing the weather is decent.

What I find hard to endorse however, is working at the beach.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the beach is an amusing place to visit, what with the water and the people and the array of terrifying sea creatures – spending a few hours trying not to die or get melanoma is how I like to relax.

Recreation is one thing, but trying to work at the beach – to me – is just next level bizarre.

Why?

Here’s why.


Sand


It’s estimated that there is over seven quintillion grains of sand on planet earth. That’s a seven followed by eighteen zero’s.

That equates to roughly one billion grains of sand for every person on the planet. One billion little grains just for you and your phone and your laptop and your documents, it will go everywhere with you.

Luckily, sand is hard to loose because it really loves to hang out in the deepest, darkest crevices of everything you own, so you’ll never need to worry about being apart from your new work bestie ever again.


Water


Water is no good for any of your office supplies so unless your job involves nothing but you and a beach ball, it’s best to steer clear of this altogether.

And don’t think that staying on the sand will make it any better either, water is a shapeshifting mistress that will mist up on you without any warning. Your electronics are doomed.

You’re a danger to yourself


Beach people


These are the people that somehow have the time to hang out at the beach during business hours while the rest of us are slaving away at the office.

They have an immaculate tan and no discernible sense of business acumen, as they’ll happily distract others from their important beach work. Rude.

What ya working on?


Dogs


I love dogs. I think they’re real good sports and one day I’d love to have one of my own.

What dogs lack though, is our finely tuned sense of spatial awareness and ability to read social cues.

If I’m yelling at Doug from accounting on the phone, a human knows to leave me well alone, lest they become a moving target of my unwavering rage.

A dog however, is unlikely to interpret this situation and will often interrupt by either running past you at high speeds, spraying your pal sand everywhere you don’t want it, or requesting a game of fetch.

Get outta here dog, I have exactly zero time for your antics.

I’m just trying to have a good time, narc


Productivity


Be honest, are you really going to get anything done in such a beautiful location?

People go to the beach to relax, not to slave over a laptop in a slightly nicer location. Save it for the office.

Don’t ruin your good impression of the beach, it’s not worth it.

 


Whether you work at the beach or in the office, don’t become a job hopper.