We all love Easter.
Believers and non-believers alike rejoice in the annual Autumn holiday for reasons of chocolate, time off work, religion, hot cross buns and more chocolate.
God forbid any large corporation would dare to take advantage of people’s beliefs, good will and general merriment to make a few extra bucks, right? LOL.
Outrage was sparked earlier this year in the UK when chocolate giant Cadbury egg-regiously reduced the size of its beloved Easter staple, the Cadbury Crème Egg, and – wait for it – kept selling them for the same price!
The internet exploded with harsh reactions, probably harsher than usual given that the root of all primary school tuckshop nostalgia, the Killer Python, had also recently suffered the same fate.
They say time heals all wounds, but we’ll just have to wait and see about this one.
Matters were made far graver when the confectionary king announced it would also be changing the Crème Egg’s recipe.
For years we have become accustomed to the perfect blend of Milk Chocolate, which as we all know is:
Milk, sugar, cocoa butter, cocoa mass, vegetable fat, emulsifiers (E442, E476, soya lecithin), flavourings, Fondant (47%) (Sugar, glucose syrup, invert sugar syrup, dried egg white, flavouring, colour (paprika extract))*
*Legitimately copied & pasted from the Cadbury website
Sounds delicious right? Wait, there’s paprika in a Cadbury Crème Egg? Well I’ll be darned.
Basically they’ve changed the recipe from Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate (TM, of course) to your standard run of the mill chocolate for peasants.
And on top of this, many think these bastards are also to blame for the death of another loveable purple-clad confectionary brand. RIP Darrell Lea: 1927 – 2012.
Still, many Australians will not be fazed by this dire news, given the rise in health consciousness, ethical consumption and gourmet food markets in recent years.
For many families (and individuals, singles need more chocolate than anyone) gone are the days of perusing the Cadbury range in the Coles confectionary aisle.
In place of mass-produced foil wrapped deliciousness we now consume 80 per cent cocoa, organic, fair trade Easter eggs made by Franciscan monks in their remote mountain top monastery, and sold in Surry Hills from 12-2pm on Tuesdays only.
But for both Cadbury and these exclusive speciality shops, this weekend is basically the equivalent of the Superbowl or Oscars.
Australians are expected to spend $3 billion this Easter on food, alcohol and holidays, and roughly $190 million of that will be on chocolate alone.
And why fight it I say? Whether your palate demands sugar in a more sophisticated manner or is sated by an entire bag of Crunchie eggs, go forth and conquer as much chocolate as you can in the most socially acceptable time of the year to do so.
If you start to feel bad, think of this medical report that totally says chocolate is kind of good for you and reduces blood pressure over short-term studies or something. Jury’s out on the long-term effects.
For now I’m signing off by suggesting you check out this sweet little trip down memory lane.
Now read: How Taylor Swift has made $200 million
Main image: Dade Freeman, Flickr