Eddie McGuire Reckons Football Fans Are Smuggling Flares in Their Bots

If you’ve ever been to an A-League game before, you’ll know that the atmosphere is absolutely incredible, but there are some that like to take it way too far.

The worst of these individuals are the ones that are bringing flares into matches to… well I don’t really know why to be honest, they just end up creating a fire hazard and an annoying amount of smoke.

The topic came up on Triple M’s Hot Breakfast program by a caller who proposed that stadiums should implement the same security checks that one would experience at an airport.

McGuire, co-hosting the show with Luke Darcy then came out with this absolute earth-shattering claim. Brace yourselves:

“They’re sticking them up their jacksie, is what we’re told, (that’s) how they’re getting them in the game.”

Their jacksie. I’d like everyone to know that I’m audibly laughing as I type this.

All jacksies aside, this is one hell of a theory. I get that people using flares at a sports match aren’t the brightest, but to suggest that their smuggling them in their bot, that’s just, wow.

But McGuire is unwavering in his claims, stating that it’s not even a theory at all.

“Darce, I hate to say it mate. It’s not a theory. I know it to be the case.”

But how?

Co-host Darcy is understandably sceptical about the whole thing; “Maybe down the front of your pants but maybe not in a cavity”

McGuire replies, “And in a buttcheek. That is my understanding of what has been happening.”

Ok, well that seems a little less extreme, I guess. It’s certainly not a small device either.

Yeah, nah.

And this kind of behaviour is horrible for the teams too, with Melbourne Victory likely to face a notice from FFA after state police warned that they will consider restricted privileges for fans.

Bad fan behaviour also cost the Western Sydney Wanderers $50,000 and a suspended points penalty. A real kick in the teeth to the club and it’s sensible, law abiding, non-flare toting fans.

And it’s not just flares causing a ruckus, the Saturday night match at AAMI Park was also tainted by “fans” throwing bottles at the opposing teams goalkeeper as well as assaulting a reporter and cameraman on their way to the venue.

As a rule of thumb when attending a football match, just try your darndest not to be a knob. It might be hard to resist, what with the distracting, shiny effervescence of a flare being held by the ~cool~ guy in the wife-beater, but it will never be ok to put a flare in your date.

C’mon guys, you’re better than that.

Story: news.com.au