Forget Coffee, Just Inhale Some Caffeine Instead

As the world is becoming increasingly weird as time goes on, (or maybe I’m just getting old) strange gadgets and ideas that we imagined as children are now coming to life. Virtual reality is taking off, electric cars are actually a viable option and everyone has a tiny computer with them at all times.

Now, the future has busted into your local café, flipped off your barista and hurled your favourite beans out the fucking window because drinking coffee is wasting your damn time – you could be inhaling it.

That’s right, inhaling caffeine is now something you can do thanks to Eagle Energy, who are launching their product in Australia this month.

“It is an electronic caffeine delivery system that allows consumers to inhale their caffeine without any calories or sugar,” says the company’s page.

The product is essentially an e-cigarette that dispenses caffeine, taurine and ginseng via inhaled vapour, so not only will you get a sick energy hit, you’ll look heaps cool at the same time.

FUCK, SO COOL

So why drink caffeine when you can inhale it?

I’ll tell you why – coffee is delicious, so you can go straight to hell.

The long-term health effects of vaping are also not well known at this stage, but there have been studies that suggest the technology is not entirely safe.

Despite the website claiming that its formula does not contain the hazardous Diacetyl additive, there is still a lot of work to be done to confirm the effects of regularly inhaling any kind of vapour.

Elliot Mashford, founder and CEO of Eagle Energy Vapor says “Australia was an obvious next step for us to launch this product”.

“We’ve successfully grown throughout North America and Europe and are excited to make Eagle Energy available to the Australian consumer.”

Whether the idea will take off here is uncertain, but if I know anything about Australians, it’s that we fucking love coffee. So good luck, you’ll have to pry the cardboard cup out of my cold, dead hands.

Feature image: NY Times