Ah, job interviews. The bane of all I-wish-I-was-retired-already job seekers. They can turn the most brashly confident of us into blithering career kooks if we’re not prepared. However, interviews are a two-way street.
Firing back a few intelligent, engaging questions post-interrogation can change the whole dynamic of the interview and shows your prospective wage giver that you’re super-keen and want to know more.
It can also give you a definitive heads up on whether the job is actually right for you. Time to get some sass on.
Who is the ideal candidate for this position and how do I compare?
Basically, don’t dick me around. Do I have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting the gig or are you already comparing me to the anal, workaholic martyr you hired 12 years ago?
What are the role expectations and how regularly are employees evaluated?
Do I have some leeway in terms of extended lunch breaks, deadline failures and post belter-of-a-weekend sickies and, if not, in what approximate timeframe will you be hauling my slack arse into your office for the sayonara chat?
Is this a new position?
Is my potential role newly created (because of the incredible growth the company has achieved over the past 12 months) or did the poor sod formerly in the job resign in a bid to ensure their mental and physical faculties were left intact?
What opportunities do employees have for professional growth?
What sort of perks are we talking about here? Free car parkin? Layback-fuelled interstate sojourns to secure new business? Health insurance benefits?
Oh and when might I embrace the chance to snare your job?
How would you describe the company’s culture?
Are my peeps neat-o or will I be working with a mashup of socially inept individuals whose idea of job fun is an annual 2-day conference holed up in a grimy motel sans grog playing an outdated version of Uno?
Can I provide anything else to help you make your decision?
Have I nailed it? Or do you need me to suck up even further by offering my own ‘top employee package’ of 14-hour working days, a no-payrise period of two years and unlimited access to my highly influential LinkedIn connections?
Sound advice, you may say. However, tread carefully dear job seeker. Mouthing off, exerting overzealous career aspirations and overtly displaying accidental public confessions (yes, you did just say that out loud) is not cool.
And try and keep the tried and true interviewee confession, “I booked an overseas holiday months ago”, to yourself. Well, at least until the pointy end of negotiations.
Need some slightly more serious (yawn) tips? Consult the experts.