Tips to Survive an Office Hangover

You’re a kick arse professional who on this one randomly misjudged occasion, has heralded the new dawn with a head full of razor blades, a rapidly decomposing colon and a mouth that tastes like someone’s back passage.

Who was that new BFF you met mid-karaoke session after a thousand G&Ts? Actually, who gives a toss. You feel like crud and the working day is only an hour away. But don’t despair dear booze hound, for assistance is here.


Clean yourself up kid


The first rule of Dodgyville  – you’re only as hungover as you look. Nothing will give the game away faster than clocking in stinky and disheveled, like you’ve just rolled out of your neighbour’s compost pit.

Iron that shirt, do your cake face and slather those armpits in the most potent grog-masking scent you can find. And put a smile on your dial!


Drink more


Some people swear by the hair of the dog. But that’s not really appropriate for a fledgling CEO is it? Hydration is the bomb. Drink as much H2O as you can stomach.

Post-boozeup fizzies can help as can sugary softies or athlete water, but pace yourself. And watch the coffee – caffeine plus a hangover equals the jitters (not a good look). Be a hipster and try peppermint tea (don’t scoff) – it’s great for pre-vom nausea.


Go the grease


Carnivores tend to demolish a bacon and egg burger with extra fat, but a dripping cheese toastie will hit the mark as well.

Top up depleted blood sugar levels with some bee syrup on toast or get a vitamin B hit with a smear of vegemite. If that’s all too much, ‘make your body sing’ (like you evidently did last night) and have a banana.


Pop a pill


Pain relievers can dull the head-splits (not aspirin which can make you feel even more nauseous) and last for a good few hours, but they’re really just giving your liver even more work to do. And frankly, it’s been battered around enough in the last 12 hours hasn’t it?

A tip for younger players– drink a litre of water with a couple of paracetamol before you pass out the night before.


Sweat it out


Yeah, right. What idiot in their right mind feels up to that? But I’m not talking an hour’s boot camp session, even a leisurely stroll around the block during your lunch break will help.

Breathe in some fresh air, get those endorphins pumping to avoid the dreaded ‘downer’ and have a perv at some hotties while you’re at it. You’ll feel great in no time.


HTFU


Dig deep and build a bridge. The day will be over before you know it and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about. Hell, you might even have a beer to celebrate.

The reality is, there are no real hangover cures, just stuff that gets you through. In fact, one learned GP suggests the only cure for a hangover is denial. “If you can pretend you haven’t got one with supreme confidence … your brain may be convinced everything’s going to be alright. Failing that, it’s sleep, sex, shandy” … (yep, he’s a Pom) … “and more sleep”. Feeling better?